When Her Best Isn't Good Enough

My teenage daughter said something to me the otherthat I should have said something more. Later while
day, that caught me a little off guard. She said "mythinking about it, I came up with a pretty good rebuttal.
best isn't good enough." It's a little out of character forSomething like, "Your best is ALWAYS good enough.
her and caught me by surprise. This is a happy,You'll never go wrong in life doing your best". You
confident kid whose had straight A's sinceknow, some good life lesson parental advice derived
kindergarten, had plenty of friends, and for the mostfrom years of experience that a teenager can really
part has been a thoughtful and caring sister anduse. Even if they'd never admit to it being helpful.
daughter. There have been exceptions, and thereI'm a great one for platitudes. Especially for others. But
have been some growing pains, but that's to besometimes, I think I need to use more of them on
expected. I'd be more worried, if there weren't a fewmyself. And actually believe them. I've been struggling
problems. I wasn't exactly a perfect teenager, andlately with my business, and a little self encouragement
know now that those problem incidents are anwould be helpful. I don't believe lately, that I've been
important part of growing up.doing my best. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I
To give you a little more context, let me explain. Shestruggle to move myself to take those first few steps.
didn't make the comment, in defense to statementsI procrastinate, and find plenty of non productive stuff
made by anyone else. She was going into one of herto make myself busy. Maybe I'm just afraid, that my
rather long winded explanations (as only a teenagerbest isn't good enough. Scary huh? In a familiar sort of
can do) for why she couldn't walk to swimmingway. I have a good business plan to work from. One
practice, even though the pool is only a few blocksthat's been built from the battlefield of many failures. I
away. I'll try to paraphrase. It went something like this.just need to execute it. The problem is, that even
"Its' too cold - the cold gets deep into my musclesthough the plan is battle tested, and ready for the real
they'll never warm up. I don't need anything elseworld, I'm not sure the General is.
working against me - already my best isn't goodI've decided, that writing about my struggles and my
enough."perception of those struggles would help me to work
I didn't really say anything. Not because I lost focusthis out. Since writing is part of my plan anyway, it
during the rather long explanation (which I sometimesachieves several goals. I'm coming to believe, that
do), but because I didn't know what to say. How couldrunning a business is not just about making money and
her best not be good enough? She's my kid after all.achieving fame. It's a lot about self discovery as well.
Even if she wasn't it shouldn't matter. When isLearning what your capable of, and how resilient you
anyone's best ever not good enough? It's all you'vecan be in the face of adversity. Writing this helps. In the
got. I mean, maybe it wasn't good enough to win themeantime though, I think I need to talk with my
Olympic gold, but it's still your best, and that shoulddaughter. She needs to believe, that her best is always
never be diminished or degraded. I thought afterwords,good enough. Not just know it, but BELIEVE it.