| Stroll around any marina and you will soon spot the | | | | 1. The Force Four Rule – The Reluctant Sailor will |
| classic sailing characters: the old enthusiast, patiently | | | | not set foot on the boat if the forecast even hints at |
| restoring a wooden shell to its sleek former self; the | | | | winds above force 4. [This rule is an adaption of the |
| dedicated racer, tweaking his stripped out, cutting edge | | | | existing 12 ° C rule for dinghy sailing] |
| craft; or even tanned BMW man, who turns up on | | | | 2. The Sunshine Rule – The Reluctant Sailor will |
| sunny weekends to take his latest woman out for a | | | | not go sailing if there is no prospect of sunshine over |
| spin in his souped-up power boat. | | | | the period of the sailing expedition. |
| Move to the bar, and you’ll find them easily. The | | | | 3. The Anchorage Rule – No anchorage will be |
| old hand, scruffed down, ready for that all important | | | | acceptable to the Reluctant Sailor unless it is within 100 |
| anti-fouling job. The smart executive, shades in hand, | | | | metres of a pub/restaurant/hotel, and preferably a |
| leading an enthusiastic team-building session. Or the | | | | small town with a guaranteed escape route. |
| sun-bleached student, fresh from his gap year spent | | | | 4. The Fair’s Fair Rule – The Sailing Fanatic |
| taking boats down to the Med. | | | | will match every week/weekend that the Reluctant |
| But what about the rest? What about the unsung | | | | Sailor spends sailing with a week/weekend |
| sailors? What about those resigned individuals who, | | | | somewhere warm, dry and comfortable - preferably |
| worn down after years of hints, huffs and | | | | abroad. |
| sweet-talking, finally utter the fateful words: 'Oh, for | | | | 5. The Don’t Shout Rule – The Sailing |
| God’s sake, alright then!' | | | | Fanatic must not shout excitedly when asking the |
| In less time than it takes to hoist a mainsail, these | | | | Reluctant Sailor to do something. The Reluctant Sailor |
| women (for they are usually women) find themselves | | | | reserves the right to tell the Sailing Fanatic where to |
| huddled nervously on the deck of a boat, trying to | | | | stick his boat if he raises his voice. |
| come to terms with the fact that yachts are supposed | | | | 6. The Rain Rule – Unless the presence of the |
| to tip over, and that this is good thing. | | | | Reluctant Sailor is required on deck to avoid capsize, |
| There are a surprising number of these reluctant | | | | collision or other near-death experience, the Sailing |
| sailors. Most, like me, would prefer never to set foot on | | | | Fanatic will deal with all work on deck while it is raining. |
| a boat but, driven by the need to see their sailing-mad | | | | The Reluctant Sailor will be having coffee and |
| partners on at least one weekend out of twenty, | | | | Kit-Kat’s in the cabin. |
| occasionally venture out onto the water. | | | | 7. The Maintenance Rule – The Reluctant Sailor |
| In my case, my 'Reluctant Sailor' status comes largely | | | | shall not be expected to maintain the boat under any |
| down to a fear of venturing into an alien environment, | | | | circumstances. The words 'anti-fouling', 'sanding' and |
| where I am not in control. | | | | 'painting' are of absolutely no interest to the Reluctant |
| I do not like not being in control. When a yacht tips | | | | Sailor. |
| over, I want to know that it – that I! – can do | | | | 8. The Too Much Time Rule – The Sailing Fanatic |
| something to correct it. When we are picking our way | | | | is not allowed to go into a huff when the Reluctant |
| through a narrow channel, I want to know how to | | | | Sailor casually mentions that the Sailing Fanatic has |
| avoid hitting unseen rocks or other boats, and when | | | | spent the last four weekends 'fiddling with that |
| my children are sitting on deck, I want to know how to | | | | wretched boat', and that the handsome divorcee from |
| rescue them if they fall into the water. | | | | next door has moved in to keep the Reluctant Sailor |
| Education is the key and unfortunately this means that | | | | company. |
| I, as the terrified new owner of a yacht, now face the | | | | 9. The Packing Rule – The Sailing Fanatic will |
| prospect of learning to sail, so that I am not frightened | | | | keep his mouth firmly closed on the subject of packing |
| of sailing. | | | | for a sailing expedition. The Reluctant Sailor reserves |
| But my reluctance stems not only from fear. There | | | | the right to bring along anything and everything needed |
| are many other reasons why I have no interest in | | | | to sustain her through the ordeal, but will, if pushed, |
| sailing. It is cold. It is wet. It is usually raining, and always | | | | draw the line at the handsome divorcee from next |
| uncomfortable. Be honest now. How many good | | | | door. |
| nights’ sleep have you ever had on a yacht? | | | | 10. The Children Rule – The Reluctant Sailor will |
| And yes, while there are around three days out of | | | | not be solely responsible for entertaining/controlling the |
| every year when weather, location and company | | | | children in the cramped and un-child friendly environs of |
| combine to make sailing a blissful experience, does | | | | a boat. The Sailing Fanatic wished for a family sailing |
| that really make up for the other 362 days when it is | | | | experience and a family sailing experience he shall get. |
| not? | | | | 11. The Money Rule – The Sailing Fanatic accepts |
| My husband thinks it does. And so, nine years after | | | | that once the sailing budget is gone, it is gone. He will |
| we exchanged our dinghy for a baby and a pair of | | | | just have to wait for that essential bit of kit. Any |
| patio doors, I have finally relented. We have bought a | | | | suggestion that this is not fair will cut no ice with the |
| yacht. | | | | Reluctant Sailor, who is perfectly aware of her moral |
| He is happy. The kids are happy. And I…. I have | | | | high ground on the subject of sailing and money, and |
| come up with some ground rules to keep me | | | | will calmly point to the outrageous expense of buying |
| happy… | | | | the bloody boat in the first place. |
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