The "Goofiest" Of All Fishing Trips

There are a lot of places in this world where one canSeas lagoon, Holly, a veteran of over twenty years in
go to find solace, peace and tranquility while wetting athe Disney corporation, gave us some interesting facts
line for fish.Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida is noton her background with Disney World. Having spent
the first place that comes to mind.Nonetheless, rightthe first part of her career with Disney in "guest
there beneath the shadow of the Magic Kingdom,relations" she had mainly handled "guest" complaints, so
amongst wide-eyed roller coaster riders, a stonesthe fishing guide position she had held for the last eight
throw from Tinkerbell's safety harness, exists one ofyears was a welcome relief. She had grown up in
the prime Largemouth Bass fishing waters you will findLouisiana fishing for bass, and she was well qualified
anywhere.Remote? No.Pristine? Hardly.Filled withfor obviously one of the most coveted positions that
hungry fat Largemouth Bass....YES!!I'm not really surethe 70,000 or so folks on the Disney World payroll
what compelled me to book a two hour Disney Basscould have. Spending your day out on the water away
fishing adventure.I don't know if I was curious thatfrom the crowds certainly seemed a better tour of
possibly a rather large mouse might show up at theduty, than trying to manipulate a pen with oversized
dock with a fishing vest full of sponsor patches,and apaws inside a large fur coat in 90 degree weather.But
big wad of chew between his cheek and gum. Or, ifthat's just me.We motored on by the big ferry boat
mechanical alligators might raise up out of the water-loaded with another group of guests ready for a
jaws agape-while I reached down to pick up my bassd-day like assault on the Magic Kingdom, and pulled up
by the lips. Or, if perhaps cannonballs might be landingto the shallows near an island. I knew I would have to
dangerously close to the boat as we all sang yo-hocatch my fish early on, before the "estrogen" effect
yo- ho a fisherman's life for me....Or maybe, justwould occur and I would be relegated to camera
maybe, after wandering around the Magic Kingdom,duty.Even though catch and release is the practice on
Animal Kingdom, Epcot and MGM for four days,these waters, live bait is still the bait of choice. Being a
bouncing off of an endless stream of six year oldssteelhead and salmon fisherman from Oregon I was
with attached parents in tow,eating spaceunfamiliar with the little "shiners" that they use down
burgers,frontier burgers,Yeti burgers, and trying tosouth to produce the big bass, but as if on cue, within a
figure out how to amuse myself in line for 60 minutesminute of tossing the little fellar into the drink I had my
while waiting to have the POOH scared out offirst largemouth on--and it was a nice one too!I hoisted
me.....maybe, just maybe I thought that I might just find aa chubby four pound bass onto the boat, and as I
few hours away from the hustle,bustle and silentgrabbed him by the "largemouth" I made sure he was
freakish stares of Chip and Dale.I must admit, as wereal, and not some animatronic Disney bass that was
were making plans for a family trip to the mother of allabout to break into a chorus of "You ain't nothin' but a
amusement parks, I had spotted this fishing adventurehound dog".Pretty soon Sara, my daughter, had her
on the Disney website. As my wife locked us in forfirst bass on and mom was right behind her with her
five days of "Disney Magic", I writhed in agonyfirst bass.Dang, the estrogen had kicked in early.As
wondering just how many princesses there must be ifpromised, Disney had already delivered a great family
it takes five days to see them.My six year oldexperience and since most of the fish caught by my
daughter was obviously thrilled.Being a card carryingdaughter had been crappie sized fish out of her
member of the "I want to go fishing club", I figured thisGrandpa's pond, the look of excitement that Sara had
may be my only opportunity to sneak in some fishingon her face when she hoisted her first largemouth
on this trip. And if you have ever looked at a map ofbass was well worth the price of admission.We each
the Orlando area, you will see that this is an abundantcaught several more bass with the biggest running
area of lakes, not to mention short drives to theclose to five pounds.Sara, like any six year old, quickly
coastal areas and ocean fishing galore. In other wordslost interest in the labor involved with catching fish, and
it was killing me, knowing how close to great fishing Iturned her interest to the "shiners" swimming in the live
was--but unless they had trout swimming along thewell.I guess you might say she took a shine to 'em!!
waterways of Splash Mountain--I was never going toHA!Anyway, she became are unofficial "shiner" go-fer,
see any of them.So, after the third day of posing forand kept the little fish in shape, by chasing them around
pictures with oversized rodents, dragons, and perkytrying to catch them with her bare hands.After a short
princesses, I called the Disney central reservation linedry spell, we headed off to other "pristine" waters. This
for "active fun"-as if screaming and doing isometricspot happened to be at the ferry landing, where all the
hand grips on Expedition Everest, or ogling Pocahontaspeople line up for the d-day assault.Under the watchful
is not considered active fun!- and booked a basseyes of hundreds of Disney patrons and a couple of
fishing trip for the next morning. Evidently, the line andHerons and Egrets, we went bass fishing. After landing
waiting period for the "largemouth bass ride" is notanother big chubby in front of the bored line sitters,
nearly as long as the wait for Peter Pan, because thethey all let out a loud cheer and like the shy fella I am, I
nice girl (I think it may have been Cinderella) was ablehoisted my trophy like I had just won Bassmaster's
to get us a fishing trip out of the Contemporary Hotel$10,000 first prize on ESPN.Unfortunately, one of our
Marina with no problem.Didn't even have to get areleased fish didn't fare to well and soon was floating
FastPass!!Best of all, we didn't have to get up early.belly up near the ferry boat. A Heron made a heroic
We were scheduled for 10:00 a.m.Like all Disneyeffort to hoist the big fish from the waters, but the two
events and productions, great attention to detail andpound fish was too much and he retired back to his
planning is done to insure the perfect familyfront row seat on shore.Although there is always going
experience. That is why catch and release is theto be a certain amount of attrition, even when you are
practice on Seven Seas lagoon and Bay lake, (the twocatching and releasing fish, I think the Disney folks
primary fishing waters at Walt Disney World) andwould just as soon their bass went belly up away
probably a big reason for the reliable fishery.AND likefrom the gates to Fantasyland, and we soon had a
all Disney adventures and productions, the perfectradio call from Holly's boss telling us to move from the
family experience has it's price.$230.00 for two hoursdocks-because it was too windy.Seemed odd since
of fishing!That's a lotta rubber worms.In fairness, that isthere was only the faintest of breezes in the air.We
the rental of the boat and the boat can handle up tostill felt bad, and certainly didn't want to be responsible
five fishermen(four if they are wearing mouse ears.)for kids being permanently scarred for life, so we
so really you technically can get it under fifty bucks amoved.Not that Disney does anything to ever
person.AND like all Disney events-it was well worth thepermanently scar kids!!??It was just as well, because
price to see the excited look on my daughters faceby now my wife was using her unfair estrogen
when I told her we were gonna catch us " a messaadvantage to outfish me two to one, which was even
bass".Most of the guides showed up at the marina anoticed by the ferry boat- line operator, who made it a
few minutes early and looked like they had part timepoint to walk over to our boat and tell us of his keen
roles on The Animal Planet. The boats were spotless,observation.Darn estrogen.By the time we motored
fully equipped and ready to go. Since there were threeour way back into Bay lake our "two hour cruise" was
of us and we had a "little one" on board, we werepretty much at an end. Of course there was still the
given a pontoon type boat rather than a bass boat.Imatter of settling up on the bill, and receiving a nice
expected Steve the crocodile hunter to be our guidecomplimentary subscription to a bass fishing
for the day,but as it turned out our guide was to be amagazine---which of course happens to be owned by
lovely lady by the name of Holly.Guess Goofy had theDisney.....As we left the boat and headed back into the
day off.After quick introductions we were on boardperfect world of magical princesses, long lines, and the
our Tracker and on our way.Now, for those of youever present gift shops, I couldn't help but think that I
that have read any previous articles I have written, youhad just got off the best ride at Disney
will quickly realize that I was going fishing with threeWorld.Well-except for the Mad Tea Cups....A.J. Klott
members of the "e-factor" estrogen fishing society. IfAuthor, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack"
you are not familiar with this secret society, let's justpeddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and
say that I had about as much of a chance of outfishingmodern day events that surround the fishing world. His
these ladies as getting a date with Ariel or Snowfirst book is now out and being sold out of the back of
White.As we motored our way out of the naturala 1976 Opal Cadet.Coming to your town soon.
waters of Bay lake and into the man made Seven